Examination of Conscience

Introduction

The experience of forgiveness is a true pilgrimage. In this journey, I will follow the movements of God in my life and the movements of my body, which open themselves to the novelty of forgiveness, from waking up to walking. At each point, I will remember the relationships that inhabit my day, so that I can feel the action of divine Love in every depth reached by prayer, from me to others and from others to God.

1. Waking Up

I open my eyes in the midst of the night I am going through and become aware of my body, my entire history, with joys and sorrows, expectations, and anxieties. I become aware of my past, and read it by the light of a hope that awakens me. At this dawn, how do I see myself? Do I accept my uniqueness or give space to comparison, discouragement, and repetition? Do I rejoice in the life that has been given to me, with all its gifts?

2. Sitting

I sit and let myself be worked by silence. Slowly, I allow time to tell my days. How do I relate with time? What priorities do my days have? Do I feel everything in harmony? What divides me? To what extent, in the deepest part of myself, do I allow myself to be reconciled with my wounds, doubts, mistakes, failures, and restlessness? Am I able to name them?

3. Rising Up

I want to learn how to rise from the ground of fear, anxiety, and loneliness. But only my own strength is not enough.

I need to open myself to the other who, in his/her difference, completes me. At the rhythm of my heart, I now go through all the faces that share this path with me. How have I lived my relationships? Am I a bearer of freedom or am I deceived by the desire for control, consumption, and manipulation? Have I hurt someone? How much time do I give to my family? Am I truly present when I am with my friends and colleagues? Do I listen to them and try to be close? Do I seek to cultivate peace or instigate discord?

How do I take care of life when it presents itself fragile? Am I attentive to the needs of others? Am I capable of lifting others up and accept being lifted up?

I observe the entire context that surrounds me. Do I feel responsible for the world I inhabit? Have I been interested in building a more fraternal, reconciled, truthful, and just world? Do I use the means at my disposal to promote truth, or do I subject/subdue myself to easy criticism, misinformation, and violence?

4. Pilgrimage

Now that I am standing, I ascend to the horizon of my gaze. Do I feel accompanied?

"We know and believe in the Love God has for us" (1 Jn 4, 16) Do I recognize myself as loved? Do I allow myself to be found and inhabited by this Presence in the surprise of each day?

Am I attentive to the movements of the Spirit in my life, in the relationships and situations that are given to me? What obstacles prevent me from journeying with companionship?

Being a Christian is an adventure, an encounter with a Person. How does Jesus become a companion on this journey? Do I seek Him in the breaking of Bread, in the listening of the Word, and in the fraternal sharing?

Do I accept Jesus as the possibility of Light for my darkness and the Face that pulls me out of selfishness?

How does this encounter challenge my dreams and projects? Do I let myself be guided?

Have I sought not to isolate myself in the experience of faith? What attention have I given to building a community of brothers and sisters? Do I take care of their fragilities and wounds?

God of Love,
You look upon my life
From the movement of Your Heart.
Grant to the days of my story
The clarity of Your interiority
And mercy as balm
For the wounds of time,
Of relationships and situations.
Move in my thoughts,
Speak to my mouth,
Transform every action
And uncover the refuges of my heart.
This I ask You through the Spirit
Who guides us through Your Son
To the Face of Your forgiveness.
Amen.